Appendix B — Questions That Aren't Advice
These are not journaling prompts. They are not exercises. They are questions that, asked sincerely and without demand for an answer, can shift the shape of attention.
You do not need to answer them. Just ask them. Let them sit.
On patterns in general
- What is the shape of this moment?
- What relations are active right now?
- If this pattern could speak, what would it say it is protecting?
- What would need to change for this pattern to reorganize?
- What is invariant across all the times this pattern appears?
On attention
- What is the shape of my attention right now?
- What conditions produced this shape?
- What am I not attending to?
- If I tilted my attention one degree, what would come into view?
On stuckness
- What is the pattern of being stuck here? Not the content — the shape.
- What feedback loops maintain this?
- What is the smallest change that might cascade?
- What would it look like to stop trying to get unstuck and just describe it?
On stories
- What story am I telling about this situation?
- Could I tell a different story that is equally true?
- What would it feel like to hold this story loosely?
On other people
- What pattern emerges when I am with this person?
- What part of the pattern is mine to see?
- If I changed one small thing in my part of this dance, what might happen?
On the help frame
- If I stopped trying to fix this, what would I notice?
- What would it look like to approach this as description rather than problem?
- What knowledge do I already have that I am not trusting?
On the body
- What is the shape of this sensation?
- Where in my body is this pattern living?
- If my body could describe this pattern without words, what would it say?
On change
- What has already shifted that I have not acknowledged?
- What tilt have I already tried without realizing it?
- What one-degree change have I been avoiding because it seems too small?
On not knowing
- What would it look like to sit with this question without needing an answer?
- What is the shape of uncertainty right now?
- What is here, before I name it?
There are no right answers. Only the asking. And the asking, repeated over time, changes the shape of attention.